Who Is God?
A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"
"Both son. God is both."
After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"
"Both son, both."
"Daddy, does God love children?"
"Yes son, he loves all children."
The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"
A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"
"Both son. God is both."
After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"
"Both son, both."
"Daddy, does God love children?"
"Yes son, he loves all children."
The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"
The Irishman's Wish
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says, "I want two more of these."
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says, "I want two more of these."
Eighteen Double Vodkas
A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."
The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"
On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
The man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"
A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."
The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"
On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
The man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"
Surprise Package
A man was drinking in a bar when he noticed this beautiful young lady sitting next to him. "Hello there," says the man, "and what is your name?"
"Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey. What's yours?"
"I'm Jim."
"Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight? I mean, right now??"
"Sure!" replies Jim, "Let's go!"
So Stacey takes Jim to her house and takes him to her room. Jim sits down on the bed and notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk. "Stacey, I noticed the picture of a man on your desk," Jim says.
"Yes? And what about it?" asks Stacey.
"Is it your brother?"
"No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles. Jim's eyes widen, suspecting that it might be Stacey's husband.
When he finally asks, "Is it your husband?"
Stacey giggles even more, "No, silly!" Jim was relieved.
"Then, it must be your boyfriend!"
Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear. She says, "No, silly!!"
"Then, who is it?" Jim asks.
Stacey replies, "That's me BEFORE my operation!!"
"Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey. What's yours?"
"I'm Jim."
"Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight? I mean, right now??"
"Sure!" replies Jim, "Let's go!"
So Stacey takes Jim to her house and takes him to her room. Jim sits down on the bed and notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk. "Stacey, I noticed the picture of a man on your desk," Jim says.
"Yes? And what about it?" asks Stacey.
"Is it your brother?"
"No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles. Jim's eyes widen, suspecting that it might be Stacey's husband.
When he finally asks, "Is it your husband?"
Stacey giggles even more, "No, silly!" Jim was relieved.
"Then, it must be your boyfriend!"
Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear. She says, "No, silly!!"
"Then, who is it?" Jim asks.
Stacey replies, "That's me BEFORE my operation!!"
Burned Ears
A guy burned both of his ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened. He said, ''I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang... So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear...''''But how the heck did you burn the other ear?'' The doctor asked.''They called back.''
A guy burned both of his ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened. He said, ''I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang... So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear...''''But how the heck did you burn the other ear?'' The doctor asked.''They called back.''
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